May 22

Shell faces shareholder revolt over laughably inadequate climate change goals

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Shell is bracing itself for an agonizing annual meeting next week, where it will attempt to juggle the demands for profits with the bothersome calls to address the climate crisis more forcefully.

Shell, that paragon of environmental stewardship, has drawn criticism for its outrageous earnings “bonanza” resulting from the skyrocketing oil and gas prices following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. 

At the forthcoming highly anticipated Shell AGM, the virtuous Church of England Pensions Board has valiantly declared its intention to vote against the re-election of Shell’s chairman, Andrew Mackenzie, and the CEO, Wael Sawan, as a noble protest against the company’s climate policies.

Furthermore, brace yourselves for a small but influential group of investors who are shamelessly endorsing a resolution proposed by the activist group Follow This. This audacious resolution calls for the audacious target of tougher emission reduction goals by 2030. How dare these investors demand that Shell take meaningful action to mitigate climate change!

Shell, being the epitome of humility, has even had the audacity to challenge a ruling from a Dutch court last May that urged them to adjust their climate targets. What a shining example of corporate responsibility and accountability!

Should Shell’s appeal fail, they might be forced to make the heart-wrenching decision of slashing profitable parts of their business. Oh, the humanity! How will they ever manage to maintain their obscene profits and contribute to the impending global catastrophe simultaneously?

Fund manager Federated Hermes, with their oh-so-impressive £800 billion in assets, has kindly recommended its members to support the Follow This resolution at Shell’s annual general meeting.

Meanwhile, Paul Hunter, the head of policy at Pirc, a beacon of wisdom, solemnly warns that time is running out to avoid the cataclysmic impacts of climate change and reduce the oh-so-dreadful climate-related risks facing investors. Clearly, the fate of the entire world rests to a significant extent on the shoulders of Shell and its fellow corporate giants.

Apparently, the world urgently needs to cut greenhouse gas emissions by a mere 43 percent from 2019 levels by 2030 to have any hope of limiting global warming to a mere 1.5 degrees Celsius, as prescribed by those infallible scientists and the revered Paris Climate Agreement.

Oh, Shell, we salute your valiant efforts to balance the unattainable demands of shareholders, activists, and the planet itself. Your selfless dedication to the pursuit of profit above all else is truly awe-inspiring

Shell management has a track record of putting profits first, before any other consideration, including the health and safety of its own employees. In other words, money before ethics. This is after all the company that financially supported Hitler and the Nazis. Google “Shell Nazi History”.

Source: Royaldutchshellplc.com

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